Probably, the Best Dollar I’ve Ever Spent

So, over the weekend I was hanging out on 6th St. in Austin, TX.

Check out these Homeless Hippies on My flickr.

As we were walking from bar to bar, we saw these two homeless guys sitting on the corner. They literally just finished writing this sign and were laughing about it amongst themselves.

Once I read what the sign says, I knew I had to take a picture. I told the guy I would give him a dollar if he let me take a picture of him and put it on the internet so I could take him “Viral!” He gotta pretty excited! His friend got a little pissed!

I mean no disrespect to these two random homeless guys, but just from the looks of your sign…. I can see why you’re on the corner.

Long story short, I totally lost that bet. I read the sign. We all had a good laugh. My friend & I each gave them a buck .

Ah, friendship!

Dennis Miller is giving Bush a free pass and Al Franken is giving Dennis Miller a free pass. The AP reports:

Dennis Miller has usually been happy to spray his acerbic wit across the political spectrum, but things will be different on his new CNBC talk program. President Bush is in a mock-free zone.

"I like him," Miller explained. "I'm going to give him a pass. I take care of my friends."

.... "People have said to me, 'What happened to Dennis?'" [his former "Saturday Night Live" colleague Al] Franken said.

"Nothing happened to Dennis. He's the same Dennis. He's always had a conservative streak on certain issues. ... It makes what you do different when you say, 'I don't have a dog in this fight,'" Franken said. "It's a big choice to make. I made it. I made the same choice on the opposite side."

Personally, I adore Miller. He says things like this:

"If two gay guys want to get married, I couldn't care less," he said. "It's their business. If some foreigner wants to blow their wedding up, I want my government to eliminate him."

The United States right now is simultaneously the world's most loved, hated, feared and admired nation, he said.

"In short," he said, "we're Frank Sinatra."

Plus, according to the AP, the show will have a monkey:

You read that right. Miller wanted a simian presence, believing a monkey occasionally scampering across the studio floor will keep both guests and viewers on their toes, he said.

Hey, it worked for The Today Show.

So how was Dennis Miller in his first effort?

The "monkey," actually a chimpanzee, really was meant as a tribute to J. Fred Muggs, of the original Today Show (as discussed below). The creature seemed depressed (or drugged), and didn't hop away or jump back up on cue with the speed that must have been intended. This is no cute baby chimp, but a relatively full-sized one (to my eye, at least). I'm not sure what that added, other than dead weight, but Miller led off with a few jabs at animal rights types who might object, out of concern for the chimp--which he referred to as "the simian," in a typical effort to help us expand our vocabulary.

Some of these efforts are off the mark. For example, it's not right to say "We're not going to waste time pretending to adhere to the McGuffin of 'fair and balanced.'" A McGuffin is not a slogan or a canard, but a meaningless plot device, like the uranium in "Notorious." Is he just trying to impress people who don't get the references? But even they can pause the Tivo and Google.

His intro didn't make the idea for the show very clear--other than the "one unalterable rule: no Ed Asner." He said he was going to change from his usual "milieu" and "evolve" (a possible reference to the chimp). He claimed to be liberal, but changed since 9/11. He did that gay wedding/terrorist joke quoted below. Expressing disdain for the overprotection of the rights of the accused, he said "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown." I don't know how in control of that reference he was, but as I remember "Chinatown," that line means the law has no application here. So did he mean, after 9/11, the government can fight terrorism any way it wants? I doubt it, because he went on to talk about the need for "pragmatism," which can be a vision of the rule of law.

After the intro, he brought on his pal Arnold Schwarzenegger, who proceeded to talk policy, blabbing about Proposition 57 and 58, which Miller had to prod him to explain. Did you know that people need to work together to solve problems? At least Miller made fun of himself afterwards for being so bad.

Some "Weekend Update" type clutter in the middle, then out come David Horowitz, Naomi Wolf, and David Frum. Okay...

After the break, there's Dennis hiding behind an O'Reilly Factor mug. He says, "All Right! First show! Broke some adhesions. Gotta figure out a way to break into people. Don't wanna be rude."

Unfortunately, the show seemed to justify the O'Reilly approach of cutting in all the time. I hope he figures out a solution. He obviously knows he's got a problem.